Goat Stories

I’ve been writing stories about my herd of goats for some years on Facebook. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I should put those stories into a book, probably a children’s book.

If I make it a children’s book, it will need to either have photographs or illustrations, I imagine.  I have a good friend who illustrate the books, but I’m not sure how to go about the writing and the illustrating. Do I write a chapter and have Russell draw something for each chapter?  Do I write very simply for little kids, or do I write as I normally do?

Maybe it could just be a collection of short stories about silly goats.  I don’t know.

The only writers I know are science fiction and/or fantasy writers. I have this fear that people who write children’s books are a bit too nice, a bit too friendly, a bit too much like Mr. Rogers. I’m not like that.  I’m something of a curmudgeon, and I’m not sure I would like to search out and hang out with syrupy sweet writers of children’s books.

Maybe I should write a Goat Horror story?

I do know I’ve been dithering about this for long enough.  Decisions must be made.

I’m such a mean goat mommy

Willow has slept every night of her little goatie life in the house since she was born on January 31.

She is becoming a young lady goat, now, and it’s time for her to learn to sleep with the other goats in the barn.

So, with a heavy heart, and Buffy, the Coyote Slayer, I made Willow go into the barn with the other goats tonight.  Buffy is there to keep her comfy.

I love that little goat very much, but sharp little hooves and pointy horns make for a dangerous ‘puppy’ sleeping at the foot of the bed.

I’ll keep everyone updated in the morning.

I hope I can keep from going out to the barn at 2 am and bringing her back into the house.

Wish me luck.

Goats. Those goats!

As you know, we have two one-week-old kids. Bernie Sanders is the son of Maisie. Kiki is the daughter of Penny. I have spent many hours this past week trying to figure out where they are, because their mothers are both somewhat irresponsible and go off with the crowd for partying (grazing) and may or may not bring their kids with them.

There is nothing more worrying for me to count the goats at night and find those two little kids are missing. Again. and Again.

Last night, we got all the goats in before we shot off our fireworks, except, apparently, those two little kids. OMG. I was sure they were dead somewhere out in the field. I left the gate to their night pasture open so Penny and Maisie could go find their kids and bring them home – and of course the big LGDs were out with them for protection.

This morning, all the goats were out in the field, and I hoped that the moms had recovered their kids. John and I went out to brunch, stopped at WalMart on the way home, and I fully expected to see the kids with their moms under the big shade tree they all hang out under during the heat of the day.

Nope. No Bernie Sanders, no Kiki. Two mama goats with extremely swollen teats, look up at me and basically shrug their shoulders.

I knew it was my turn to go look for the darn kids. Buffy, Willow, Cassie and I took off into the horse pasture first.

It was too hot to do much more than go down to the lake and climb back up. I am not in great shape, and it’s a pretty humid, hot summer day. I decided to try to get those darn mama goats up off their butts to go look for their kids.

I yelled at them. I sprayed the hose on them. They just got up, walked a couple of feet away and settled down again.

I figured I was going to have to go look more myself. So I got in the Ranger, turned it on and headed down the road towards the end of the property. I heard a goat screaming, turned around, an Penny was chasing after me – screaming for her kid.

I went one way when we got to the dead end – she went through the fence and kept going.

In a few minutes, she returned, with two very bouncy kids, who had apparently spent the night out hidden away in the woods. She allowed both of the kids to nurse from her (told you Bernie Sanders is a socialist goat- he thinks he gets to have everyone’s milk), and then they trotted back to the big shade tree. Willow got up in the Ranger with me and we followed them down the road.

Another Recipe on this non-recipe blog

Meat has become very pricey. Pork is a great buy these days.  I just tried a recipe for Pork Steaks that I altered enough that I could probably claim it as my recipe.  It was really, really good.


This is what you need:

  1. Pork Steaks
  2. 1/4 cup Soy Sauce (Kikkoman’s, of course)
  3. Lea & Perrin’s Worcester Sauce
  4. Medium sweet onion
  5. 4 cloves garlic
  6. 1/4 cup butter
  7. Red wine
  8. Wondra

This is what you do:

  1. Chop the onion
  2. Mince the garlic

In a skillet (I use and electric skillet), melt butter and add Soy Sauce and a couple of dashes of Lea & Perrin. When everything is melted and blended, add the onions and garlic and saute for 3 to 5 five minutes.

Then place the pork steaks (I used 4 large steaks) in the skillet, cover, and cook for 10 minutes.

Turn the steaks over, cover again, and cook for another 10 minutes.

Remove the cover and cook for another 10 minutes.

Remove the pork steaks to a plate.  Cover the plate with foil to keep steaks warm.

Turn up the skillet so the soy sauce/butter/Worcester Sauce/onion/garlic is all bubbly.

Add some red wine – probably 1/3 cup or so

Then, add some Wondra flour and stir like crazy for about 5 minutes until you have a nice, thick, tasty sauce.

Then plate your steaks, spoon sauce over each steak and serve.

Super yummy.  Pretty damn cheap.