Fear of Creating

I fall asleep right away most nights, and then maybe three, maybe four hours later, I wake. I have a great idea for making one thing or another, and I figure out how to do it and what it will look like.

Sometimes, I even make note of what I want to make.

And eventually I go back to sleep.

Then, the next day, or the day after, I keep thinking about that one thing I want to make, but nine times out of ten, I am petrified of trying to make it. It could be something with fiber, it could be something with wood, it could be an oil painting, even writing – and I find that I am so afraid of failure that I can’t even start the project.

Once in a long while, I break out of that mold, and I do make that thing, and typically, it works out well, someone really loves it and buys it, but then, I find myself back in that hole of being afraid of using my ideas.

I’ve been this way a long, long time.  I am not sure I can change at this point.  All it takes is for one person to tell me I’ll be a failure, and I seem to take that to heart.

So, I endeavor to kick myself in the ass, and try some of these scary new ideas out in the coming weeks.

What have I got to lose, after all!