I’ll never get those three days of my life back. I paid good money to be a vendor at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival last weekend, and discovered how badly the festival is run these days.
It was a horrible experience for Russell, my artist friend, and I. We were treated badly by the people who did not realize that we were their customers, even to the point that one of the workers there thought it was okay to call me a whore in a black dress when I complained about the situation.
Anyway, there were funny things that occurred, funny things that helped to make up a tiny little itsy bitsy bit for the insults.
I’ll be sharing those stories with you.
Here is the first one. Russell called this the Story of the Mutton Man.
A family with three children, mom, dad and grandpa came by to watch me spin. The oldest girl was maybe 11 years old, and extremely shy, almost afraid of people.
As usual, I try to talk the ones who seem to need the attention the most. I showed her some wool, had her touch it and then spun a bit of yarn to give her to tie around her wrist.
Then I did the same for her younger brother and sister.
I talked about my goats. Then Grandpa piped in. “When do you eat them?”
I said, I don’t raise my goats for food. They are fiber animals, and I can shear them every six months for their entire life and make money each time I do that. If I sent them to a butcher, I’d lose money in the long run. (this was an attempt to let him know I was in it for the business, but it failed).
The idiot says, “What do you do with them when they get old?”
Again, I said, I can still shear them every six months until they die of old age.
And grandpa says, ” But I like mutton!”.
Russell and I looked at each other. I said to the old man, “Ummmm, I raise goats”. They are fiber goats. They grow 1 inch of mohair each month. I shear their mohair off twice a year. I use the mohair in items I sell or I sell the mohair.”
And he says, “But I want mutton!”.
Finally, we informed him that mutton comes from sheep.
Right over his head.
Right over his head.